one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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