She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
