Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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