Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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