coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just had sex on a roof
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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