He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
