Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
