If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
