Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
