is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
