Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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