So drunk, too bad you don't want this
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
