Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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