Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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