I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
