420 ftw
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
