What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
