OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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