he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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