My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
