I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
