Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
