Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
