Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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