Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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