I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
