what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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