id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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