you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She bit a glass in half.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
