I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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