god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
