We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
