my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it glows. i had to have it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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