he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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