it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my vag is so smooth its legendary
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
