He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
