if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
