these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
