i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
