She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
