just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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