Do you still have your period?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
