there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
