Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
