I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
