No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
