I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
