And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
