I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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