And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
