Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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