well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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