Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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