Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
